Hehe, on Christmas Eve me and mark went to buy a bottle of wine for the next day and somehow ended up at Honky Tonks at 2am drinking beer and dancing. Before that we drank some wine, shared a bottle of some amazing Sicilan red wine with cezar, ate free berries and white chocolate ,mousse because the kitchen was being cleared out at the wine shop, then finished an opeened bottle of wine and got locked in Went to the Supper Club and drank some hellish Polish Vodka that is flavoured with a special grass that bison's piss on apprently, had a 'cleanisng' ale drank some other beer, went to Honky tonk's and cezar and ian made me drink so much more, damn them drank more, got in for free too, woo connections. I was a teensy bit hungover on Christmas Day and ended up sleeping on the couch after lunch. It was all fun though, heaps of yummy food. Boxing Day is boring I want to go out.

Merry christmas bee-yatches.

I have decided that my holidays start today, hooray. I have to go Chrissie shopping, and tomorrow will be food shopping madness so I can't be arsed stressing about trying to write a PhD at the same time. Went out to the wine shop, it was lovely but a bit sd because it was the last night that Sarah and Cezar were working together Cezar has a job at the Rubicon in San Francisco in January, I will miss him. It was so funny the other night he came up to me and said 'that man outside just called me a cherry pie!' (he isn't at all cherry pie like) and we were laughing and Cezar was freaking out that the guy was trying to pick him up, then about 15 minutes later the guy comes in again and says, 'where is my cherry pie, I ordered that cherry trifle' hahah oh dear, it was on the menu and everything and Cezar didn't even notice.

Had a good weekend. Went to Roey's on Saturday and had a lovely dinner, chatted lots and got very drunk. she had this walknut liqueur and it was delish, so I polished it off.

We stayed till 3am and then spent ages trying to get a cab, we needed two so that Ro could take her friend to the doctor but we were only allowed one, and that didn't even turn up so I halied one and we shared.

Sunday morning I got up late for a family thing, missed the first train and had ten minutes to go from nude to sitting on a train. I did it, and I wasn't on the train nude either!

Did my family duties, decided that as I was hungover I should drink champagne for breakfast

Went to Carla and Katie's, had pizza, mooched, watched quality movies about talking horses. Bri dropped me home and then met Mark for a drink.


Photo time

me and lizey at Transport in thurs


delicious berries


me and mark (well mark being obscured by me)

It is one of those sad ironies of blogging that when one has interesting goings on to relate, the inetersting goings on tend to keep one from the computer.

In summary, well actually I can't be bothered relating all the inns and outs so just a few interesting tidbits.

Mark's parents arrived on Wednesday, seem to be settling in well, I took them Christmas shopping today, a surprisingly easy outing.

I drank far too much over the weekend, the weekend that began on Wednesday.

Had a good weekend. Went to Roey's on Saturday and had a lovely dinner, chatted lots and got very drunk. she had this walknut liqueur and it was delish, so I polished it off.
We stayed till 3am and then spent ages trying to get a cab, we needed two so that Ro could take her friend to the doctor but we were only allowed one, and that didn't even turn up so I halied one and we shared.

Sunday morning I got up late for a family thing, missed the first train and had ten minutes to go from nude to sitting on a train. I did it, and I wasn't on the train nude either!
Did my family duties, decided that as I was hungover I should drink champagne for breakfast.

Went to Carla and Katie's, had pizza, mooched, watched quality movies about talking horses, with some of the best ever montages ever seen on sunday afternoon tv.

Bri dropped me home and then Mark made me go out for a drink so he could get dinner.
Took my parentsinlaw shopping today so am now trying to get work done.

With uni friends, I ended up going over to my friend's in West Brunswick, arrived in the middle of dinner, had food and a beer. Then we went to the Retreat, after I tried to talk her into wearing a red belt over her black cotton dress, the beer garden is really nice there I had only ever been in the front bar which has a bad vibe, but out back is lovely, we sat on the grass and drank beers.

Then we mosied down to transport to see mohair, he's on pbs and plays soul music, had a boogie. two guys tried to pick us up, one leaned in to me and said "yourrrr gorgeoushhh" I said , his friend said 'sorry my friend is a bit, intox, intox, intox, intoximicated", once again we said then his friend came out with the best pick up line ever, he said "ladeeees I played golf today" we exited pronto

drank beers, hung out, chilled, then she wnet on to cherry and I went home about 1am.

Got up this morning for breakfast, met Ro's ex boy, he is loverly. Had pastries and five coffees.

Now I am relaxing a bit (ina sort of caffiene fuelled agitated way).

Thanks.

I am soo hungry I just got hassled outside the sushi place by some socialist wanting me to buy his magazine but I said I ha dno money so then I couldn't go in and buy lunch. Well drinks are off for tonight so I am going home again.

Oh dear yesterday was so drunken. I did some study in the morning and then mooched up to uni to do some more, but Jarrod was in the office so we just chatted instead, then we went to the Christmas party, it was very badly catered. Not enough food, even though it was a lunchtime thing, and there were 8 bottles of wine for eveyone (it's a big department), and about 30 bottles of Mount Franklin and 30 bottles of sparkling water someone had their priorities wrong.

Anyways still had a nice few drinks and caught up with friends, then me, Jarrod, Ryan and Tim decided to continue being drunken at Jimmy Watsons, we had the antipasto it was soooooo good. It had these deep fried fetta cheese balls I ate both Then me and Hugh and Lisa went to the opening of the new State library exhibition, Geoffrey Rush was there and me and Hugh were daring each other to introduce ourselves to him, but we were too chicken. We had to wait absolutely ages for the exhibition to be opened and so got more drunk and then drunkenly looked at the rare books that the exhibition was about, and laughed at them, oh dear we were very silly. Hugh was picking me up and holidng me over teh display cases so I could see better, gah we are bad.

Then Hugh tried to drag me to the pub but I not for me! I am too good, or too drunk even. Probably good really or I would be well gone today.

and later puppies

Ventured to the wilds of Weribee for a visit with the pupples of Abigail the Brittany Spaniel.




Ventured to the wilds of Weribee for a visit with the pupples of Abigail the Brittany Spaniel.

More of the strangeness, it just went on and on. All in brunswick and very odd, and wrong.
So we were happy to return to the real Brunswick. Please not the phallic and succulent cactus.
Though we did find an unhatched alien, probably wouldn't have found one of those in Ikea town.
A funny cartoon in a tax accountant's window, which was next door to a wedding dressmaker who had an old dentist's chair in her window, hmmm, I suppose the fitting of wedding fdresses can be painful.
We like their humour, better than those other streets.

Saturday in photosthe day started with pastries and a baby who was lovely despite being chicken poxy.From afar a strange vision. Then we went for a walk, venturing into strange territory, known to us as 'Ikea village', we didn't like to think of the difficulties involved in constructing these houses, ugly as they are, with naught but an allen key.
The creative street names.

More coming.

Hmm clearly this is friday blog and i have very little to report.

Finished marking, had a 'discussion' with admin bastards who want our postgrad space, got drunk a few times, got too hot yesterday, was too hungry yesterday, had lunch with Roey twice, felt happy about lizey's marks, cuddled Zana's baby, wanted cupcakes.

Photos.

Me trying to be Clara Bow

Me getting the most out of my apple martini

fri-dayday

I love friday.

I am happy today, the world is good I thought I was falling back into a deep deep hole but it seems it was just a little tumble and I have righted myself easily.

Me and lizey are planning Italy, hopefully she will save the money ok. I really need to book my ticket soon.

depression worse?

I just noticed that post from last Tuesday saying I was feeling depressed and realised I have, more or less, been feeling that way since then. Which is no good, I have been much better lately so why this return to a feeling of hopelessness? I had it very much last night, even the urge to hurt myself was returning. Hmmm.


I had such a strange dream last night. I dreamt that I was in Northern Italy (I think you influenced me Ro) and I was in this garden. The garden was very run down but contained these amazing sculptures of monsters, which also seemed to be automata. It was strange, they were very baroque in some ways, and reminiscent of the sacro bosco at Bomarzo, though on a grander scale, plus the layout of the garden was a bit like a Chinese scholar garden. There were these horribly steep cliffs which reminded me of cliffs from a recurring dream I had when I was a child about werewolves. Then I went to the bookshop but there were no books, only strange knick-knacks. So strange, though perhaps I am just working too hard.

Just had coffee with felicity, very lovely as always. Though she told me some things about Rome after I left which have made me feel a bit strange, I am glad I was sitting in full sun with glasses on as I think I may have been blushing. I don't know what to think or feel now, I really don't like me sometimes.

Tuesday is boring

My day today consisted of lying in bed feeling depressed until 11am, then going to the gym and killing myself, then sitting in the most freezing lecture theatre ever and hearing about prints, which was sort of good and sort of dull. The best was this artist who had got this scholarship to the British Museum Prints rooom which I desperately want) and had spent her time drawing all the prints in a diary. Lovely and gorgeous.
But then she mentioned the British Museum being in Bloomsbury and I started thinkming about my friend there and felt all sad. Hey ho, Very sillly of me really.
THren I had drinks at the Melbourne uni Club in some very odd room with imitation 19th century versions of 16th century furniture in a 21st century room. THere was stupid politics running through the whole night an dpeople being bitches and sizing me up so now I am going home to relax.

hmmm

What do you when you find out something you don't want to know, that you shouldn't have found because youwere being nosey, but now you now you feel confused?

Procrastination for roey

I'm not sure what to write today. I am pretty tired and exhausted still from the conference. I was way too tired to go out last night in the end so I just sat around feeling sad. Hurrah for me. Lets have some photos.















Roey playing pool, tell me if you want me to take it down, though I'm pretty sure we are the only ones reading this.















My cake the other night.















Beer and coffee, together, gasp!



























My favourite cafe that I have never actually had coffee at in Rome.

conference

Well yesterday was a big success, I have just returned all our glasses and empty bottles to the wine people so i feel it is all done finally! My office smelt like a brewery crossed with a winery this morning though, The day just went so smoothly, no realy hiccups, only 1 technology problem and lots of audience in all the papers. Some how we managed to get 44 papers to run on time and everyone really enjoyed themselves, the sun even came out for our BBQ at the end of the day. We had the biggest turn out yet, and also the biggest nukber of people to stay behind for our drinks and BBQ, I think we had about 70 people and we didn't run out of booze or food later either. One speaker even asked if I was in events and media management We also launched our new journal (http://www.melbourneartjournal.unimelb.edu.au/E-MAJ/index.htm) and I was asked to make a speech about it because all the other editors were too shy, but it went well and everyone laughed at my joke too.

Now with a sigh of relief I can go back to my PhD.

Oaks day

Made my first sally into the world of Spring racing and it was fun, interesting.

Here is dress (but I changed the head bit).


























Faux drunken photo


















Carla and Jet

















Have more pics, incincluding nice ones of all the rubbish.

poor little bloggy moo

I am neglecting you. I am soo busy organisng this conference that is on tomorrow. (check it out www.ahcca.unimelb.edu.au/illuminate) I have actually been doing fun stuff but have no time to write about it so will do some serious backdated issues soon.

Biggest excitement today is putting essays upstairs to be collected, what a relief, I had decided to re-write most of the comments because I was too critical and wanted to point out some good stuff too.

Now I am drinking coffe and eating yoghurt, they don't go together but I don't care. It is funny Mark is so pedantic about foods which match and which don't that I started doing it too but now I have realised that really I am a bit of a food, um, heathen?slob? SO there you go the liberation of coffee with yoghurt, soon I will be a freedom fighter.

breakfast by the brothel

We think there is a brothel next door to Eliza's.
Here is the joy of Breakfast at her place.

Clara Bow

Ain't she grand?

Stolen from Katie's journal, what my birth month says about me.....

May

Stubborn and hard-hearted - hmm not really (I hope!)

Strong-willed and highly motivated - more or less

Sharp thoughts - yep!

Easily angered - hardly

Attracts others and loves attention - umm maybe, definitely the attention bit.

Deep feelings - yup (but really who would say no)

Beautiful physically and mentally - not for me to judge!

Firm Standpoint - on what? on animal rights yes, on whether to eat a sandwich right now, no

Needs no motivation - haha I have a blog and should be studying right now so clearly no

Easily consoled - ??

Systematic (left brain). - *shrug*

Loves to dream - yes

Strong clairvoyance - whatever

Understanding - yes

Sickness usually in the ear and neck - ?? what the? everyone in may has a sick neck and ear?

Good imagination - yo!

Good physical. Weak breathing - can I really be both?

Loves literature and the arts. - yep

Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. - yes yes

Restless. - yes

Not having many children. - well not right now I'm not

Hardworking. - once again I am clearly doing this to avoid hard work

High spirited. when drunk, yes

Spendthrift. - meh

Breakfast, tom waits, eggs, parcels, hippy coffee, swings, rain

Good day.

Today was fun, went to Roey's cubby, she made us boiled eggs and I got this urge to try and eat them like they were shown on Australian Princess, but after 2 seconds I gave up and was just messy. We listened to Tom Waits and U2 and Amelie. There was coffee with honey.

Then we went to get a package for her and it wasn't very exciting, I think we built it up too much. Then we had coffee and because we had had way too much coffee we started talking about religion and Roey wrote me some Ani diFranco. Then we went and swunk on some swings in the park which was good but we got sore arses because they were a bit big for the little seats. Then we say a special garden through an old gate.

The skies in Brunswick.


Then I went to uni and got rained on and came home and lizey came to visit and get photos and have a cigarette on a wet balcony.

Mark got his new glasses, very spiffin.

On my walk the other night.

Sunshine, grass, rolling, violence, water, home

Yesterday was loverly, picnic on the grass. We all met the lovely Francine, who watched over us, though she was somewhat thin, and made of bronze. The magpies visited too. I think my arm got slightly sunburnt, though it could have just been hurt from rolling down the hill at the myer music bowl.

Here I am with Sarz, and there is Carla doing ultra U.V. protection with three pairs of sunnies.


Then I distracted Carla from leaving for her ball with lashings of red wine, and eventually went out to meet lizey and see 'THe Proposition'. I liked it alot, more than I expected actually, possibly one of my favourite films this year. Here is my dry and dry at Jimmy's beforehand.

contemplating

I am contemplating over all the fun conversations I had yesterday at lizey's afternoon tea/booze up. Hmmmm I don't think I have been thinking things through properly. I have lots of photos to put up though. not now, but soon.

Gah my hands smell like perfumes and I can't get it off urgh. I bought new hats, yay! A big black and gold one which will go well with the sunglasses I am going to buy, now I just need better weather.

Italia 2006

Ohh excitement I kept forgetting to post this in my journsie. I am going to Italy in Feb next year I have been invited to give a paper at an international conference which is great, though quite scary too as I will probably the only student and most of the other speakers are very well known and established academics. But yay, I am definitely soending a month in Rome and hopefully also 2 weeks in Lucca in the archives and 1 week in Milan at a library (and possibly at the shops ) Yay yay yay I am going to book my accomdation now.

Fun weekend, how nice is the weather? It seriously has lifted my mood so much, though I have been a bit up and down lately, must make another doctors appointment but I also am planning to cut down on caffeiene and alcohol. Saturday I tried to work but mostly slacked off, then met Mark for drinks and then Emma and Carla came and met us and we had nice wine an dthen went for pasta at Tiamo then ice cream. Then me and Carla met up with Sarz at Bimbos and tried to convince people we were twins, but with different Dads, haha oh dear. Yesterday I slept in and then later on Mark bought me a new mobile I am playing, at first I was sad to let go my old one, we have had good times, but this new one has a camera and stuff.

Went out last night with E, good night. First we mosied on down to TRansport but Mohair wasn't playing ( he seems to be very upset about New Orleans, understandably). Hopefully he will be back next week. We decided we didn't like the vibe and E had a car so we went off to Prudence in North Melby. When we were leaving the fed sq carpark we forgot ot pay our parking ticket and got stucj at the boom gate so I had to jump out and run across and pay, there were cars waiting behind us. oops.

Hung at Prudence for a few hours, twas fun. There was a hen's night there and they were all well gone. The hen had a sign with tasks she had to complete and was beratinbg us all loudly for not having condoms to give her.

Went home and had a shag. Good night.

Wednesday - pretty garden and pretty clothes

Taught today, it was good, we were looking at the gardens of Stowe and also Little Sparta by Ian Hamilton Finlay, I really love this garden it works so amazingly well. Although I haven’t actually seen it in the flesh which one should really do with spaces such as gardens, I just love his approach. Finlay includes such subtleties in his garden art, poems and allusions to the classical gardens and the classical world. Some of them are a bit esoteric, but most are readily understandable. I like the way, as one of my students pointed out, all the objects he inserts into the landscape tend to draw you into a ‘conversation’ with that landscape, without the surrounding landscape the meaning would be completely changed.

This evening I went to the Melbourne fashion festival with sarah, as her photographer. It was lots of fun, I got some good shots too. It was pretty funnny standing up on the media platform with all the big newspaper and t.v. people with their huge cameras and me with my tiny digicam. I loved some of those shows too. The Nicola Finetti dresses were gorgeous, not particularly unusual but very elegant, lots of draping and light fabrics. I loved the Shag show too, lots of oversized sunnies, in fact lots of oversized everything. Sarah wasn’t so sure, she did make the good point that no one would really wear those clothes, but I think it would be fab if everyone did! Especially outfits like this! (insert furr one) One of the models carried a flower printed parasol too which was absolutely gorgeous.

I also quite like the Prime show which was basically sportswear but it was very fun and funky, suddenly made me want to get about in tennis skirts and short shorts and diamond print tops with a 50s tennis raquet as an accessory.

And the bikini show at the start was good, Flamingo Sands, loved it and am definitely buying a bikini this year, wearing it with a flowy kaftan, a big hat and big sunnies.

Francais

Bonjour mademoiselles et monsieurs! I have decided that the learning of French is required.

Tuesday - sore backs and sleeping professors

I was woken this morning but agonised groans from downstairs, poor boo had hurt his back. He works in a job that involves a bit of heavy lifting and lots of standing and the poor thing does it just getting out the coffee. I went down and attempted to offer comfort and massage but decided I was far too grumoy and tired so went back to bed. Then E rang me (at 7:45am!) and told me to come and meet her for coffee, I was too tired to protest so I agreed and left the house at the uncharacteristically early hour of 8:20am. Met her at Atomica on Brunswick St and we had a good chat about poor ole New Orleans (she is in love with a soul music DJ), and other things. I had a bananan muffin.

Came home via Big W and bought a hot water bottle, they are so cheap, only $3!

Mooched around waiting for boo to get home, kissed him and then went to the gym at uni, came back and met boo for a beer and salad at the QV, now I am trying to work.

Also today when I was at uni I wandered down to my supervisor’s office to give him back a book, I knocked and opened the door (like I always do) and there was no answer and I could only see his feet sticking out from behind his desk. I thought, ‘shit he’s carked it!’. But turns out he was just having a sleep. Haha! Oh dear it was very funny.

Monday

Life is all too hard. I sit here trying to make myself work and I just can’t. It is so frustrating, I want to work, but I can’t.

These anti-depressants have curbed my appetite. It is somewhat similar to when I had anxiety and couldn’t eat, except that I can eat, I just have no desire to eat. It feels quite healthy in some ways, I eat my breakfast, lunch, dinner but don’t overeat. Right now though, I am so down that I want comfort food. I want toast and cheese, and I just ate two chocolates. So instead I have made tea and am not allowing myself to eat lunch until 1:30. I can get slightly obsessive about food, I’m not sure if it’s good or bad though. I know it is bad to beat myself up over what I have eaten, but is it bad to worry so much about when I will eat. Anyway, how much thinner do I want to be, no thinner really, I am just scared of putting on weight again. Superficially my body has been one of the only things that I like about me at the moment.

springtime

How unoriginal, nevermind. It's hard trying to think of titles all the time. I am just here to put up photos anyway. I was all pumped to write a big happy post yesterday but I ran out of time and now I can' t be bothered. It's a pity really. I should make notes in my notebook or something.

Well whilst I wait for my pictures to load (bloody dialup). I can record how I am feeling. I have been having some side effects from the ADs, mainly I have lost my appetite and am feeling very restless. Last night when I was wtching television I was so jumpy I got off the couch and started doing situps, this is not the normal me. I also keep waking up during the night.

Hurrah, here's a nice picture of the guards outside the Qurinal palace in Rome. It was originally a papal residence but now the president lives there. I took this on my second last day in Rome I just wandered past the palazzo and they were changin the guard with a big song and dance (well not exactly) but there was a band and lots of marching.

anti-depressants

I started them yesterday after deciding that I didn't need more days like Monday, I am sick of letting little things tip me over the edge. I am feeling the side effects a bit I think, I have no qppetite and have been getting headaches and can't sleep that well, though that could be the wind that has been buffetting my apartment. THere is something almost surreal about days like yesterday with the crazy winds and then reading about Hurrcane Katrina, something in your subconscious makes you feel as though you are experiencing it? Anyway I meant to buy the Australian today becauise it had a great headline about Katrina Rampaging, teehee, well it isn't funny of course but there is something strange about seeing your name associated with rampaging.

privacy

Why is everything I do monitored? I need some privacy to express my feelings, its not fair to follow me around.

slackness

Hmm its monday morning and about 10:30am and I am yet to get dressed. I am soo tired today plus I feel all emotionally drained.

I had a nice weekend, caught up with the gals for dinner on saturday. Very nice, would have liked to stay out a bit later with Carla and Sarah etc but I was so tired. Plus I was so stuffed full of food I couldn't even drink any more. oops.

Went to Mum and Dad's yesterday. Mum has been helping me to re-line my overcoat. It is a really beautiful coat tha she bought in Wales in the 70s, but the long completely disintegrated over Jan and Feb when I was in Rome. I thought it would be an easy job but it is sooooo hard, and I am sucg a perfectionist I find it really frustrating.

I am just loving this beautiful weather, though it means Mark has started getting hayfever whic is bad.

different pictures

Hmm I changed my mind about that picture. Maybe I am looking at the wrong things to cheer me up, maybe pictures like that remind me of some happiness, but they also make things sad. Make me regret things...

Anyway this is an allround happy picture of Hamish the dog.

That yellow thing you can see is a special collar my mum bought him which sprayed citrus when he barked.It was to try and stop him barking when everyone was out, my dad noticed that when the other dog barked it would also spray him, poor thing.